[bottles up feelings and lets them age for 10 years like a fine wine]
i’m afraid sex will sound the same as when you stir potato salad and that’s why i’m staying a virgin
was voldemort a virgin
Imagine being the chick to do the frick frack with the Dark Lord Voldy.
TUMBLR DOT COM: WHERE WE CAN DISCUSS HAVING SEX WITH VOLDEMORT BUT WE CAN’T ACTUALLY SAY THE WORD SEX
doing the do with you know who
I’m sorry I can’t come to the phone right now. I’m busy cutting open Fruit Gushers and squeezing all of the goo into a glass so I can take a shot of it because that has always been a dream of mine and now that I’m an adult with a job, I finally have the means to make it a reality. Please leave your name and number after the beep.
but why do i say “i know” to my pets when they make noises. im lying to them. i don’t know anything.