neptunain:

[bottles up feelings and lets them age for 10 years like a fine wine]

(via bastilla)

f0xface:

i’m afraid sex will sound the same as when you stir potato salad and that’s why i’m staying a virgin

(via scurrilizzie)

itseasytoremember:

capslockapocalypse:

letmusicsetyoufreee:

frankienathanieljonas:

bubblelumps:

was voldemort a virgin

#did you see him in 5th year? #he wasnt a virgin

Imagine being the chick to do the frick frack with the Dark Lord Voldy. 

TUMBLR DOT COM: WHERE WE CAN DISCUSS HAVING SEX WITH VOLDEMORT BUT WE CAN’T ACTUALLY SAY THE WORD SEX

doing the do with you know who

(via chelseamourning)

heckacute:

I’m sorry I can’t come to the phone right now. I’m busy cutting open Fruit Gushers and squeezing all of the goo into a glass so I can take a shot of it because that has always been a dream of mine and now that I’m an adult with a job, I finally have the means to make it a reality. Please leave your name and number after the beep. 

(via siffysif)

brttny32194:

but why do i say “i know” to my pets when they make noises. im lying to them. i don’t know anything.

(Source: brittany-32194, via bastilla)